by Gary Ezzo & Dr. Robert Bucknam
SYNOPSIS: On Becoming Childwise: Ready! Set! Grow! You became a parent overnight but it takes much longer to become Childwise. Just when you master the baby stage, greater challenges arise. Intellect, self-awareness, curiosity, an
d social roles are emerging requiring consistent, caring guidance from you. Equip yourself with more than fifteen Childwise prin-ciples for training kids in the art of living happily among family and friends. Foster the safe, secure growth of your child’s self-concept and world-view. Childwise shows you how to raise emotionally balanced, intellectually assertive, and morally sensible children. It’s the essential guidebook for the adventurous years from toddler to grade schooler!
INTRODUCTION: On Becoming Childwise, the fifth book in the On Becoming series, targets children aged three to seven years. This is an exciting period of growth and development for children, and a time when parental training and encouragement are major players in the child’s developing world. These preschool and early school years awaken within a child a sense of fearful adventure in an ever-expanding world outside the confines of mom and dad. It is an exciting and, yes, challenging growth period. A time when your child’s intellect develops sufficiently to allow purposeful interaction with adults and other children. As that interaction begins, your child starts to process experiences and sensations from his deepening relationships that direct the way he interprets life. As your child’s world unfolds, new and broader expectations are realized. Now he is confronted with role functions, norms, and expected standards of conduct which sometimes conflict with each other as well as with his own self-centered perceptions.
Children of this age not only begin to perceive how and where they fit into the larger social picture, but they also develop a life and worldview perception of where everyone else in their mental neighborhood belongs-Mom and Dad, little Kyle next door, and the mechanic down the street. Our goal is to help you get started and sustain your course of action with confidence. We first want to instill in you a healthy dose of encouragement. The word encouragement literally means “to put courage into,” and that’s what we’d like to do for you. There are so many fearful strategies in the parenting marketplace it is no wonder parents often second-guess their decisions. They fear they are going to do it all wrong and that there is a zero recovery rate from error.
Fear sets in right from the start: the competent nurse hands over your new bundle and wheels you out of her life. This is it. You’re on your own. You and about a zillion opinions, regulations, strategies, and bestsellers telling you just what to do now. That’s not to mention the other zillion reporting the catastrophic consequences of doing-or not doing-the previous zillion.
One wrong move and you’ll break the fragile child. Disposable diapers or cloth? Breast or bottle? Crib or bedside cradle? From rashes to runny noses, bonding to breaktime, everyone-including your neighbor’s mother-in-law’s friend has something to say about what you should or shouldn’t be doing for your child. Here is just one word from us: relax. You’re going to do just fine, and so are your children. Childwise is filled with helpful strategies that will not make you feel guilty or fearful, but will cause you to think through each challenge with that old-fashioned thing called common sense.
We hope to give you a renewed sense of purpose in your parenting. What are you hoping for? What is the purpose behind the training you give your child? Your goal needs to be more than just getting through another day. Childwise is a values-based parenting strategy. Parents have an obligation to manage their children, not only at home but also in public settings. Childwise stresses the importance of moral socialization as a healthy prerequisite to a satisfying sense of self. There is no greater confirmation of self-worth than appreciation from others. How that is legitimized is taken up in section 2, where we emphasize the importance of character training.
A third aid in the area of confidence concerns matters of behavioral correction. In section 3, we take up the issue of correction and encouragement. While we will discuss many discipline options, we desire that our readers think prevention first and foremost. Preventing wayward behavior by not creating the conditions that pull children off-track translates into less correction you will need to do.
Each chapter contains review questions. These are designed to take you back to the major themes found in each chapter. Like anything else in life, the more effort you put into implementing Childwise principles, the more help you’ll receive and the more confidence you’ll gain. We are excited about offering parents practical helps.
Informative books are great for reading, but do little for parents if practical how-tos are missing. We trust you will find Childwise informative and highly practical and that the tips actually work, making a discernible difference in your parenting. Yet at the same time this book is not intended to give all the answers or provide the reader with all he or she will ever need to know about the process of raising a child. Therefore, parents guided by their own convictions have the ultimate responsibility to research parenting philosophies available today and make an informed decision as to what is best for their family. Be encouraged!
